Thursday, February 3, 2011

New Year, New Man

I guess I should start at the beginning. Although, that really doesn't present him in the best light...

Two years ago, I had just gotten out of a semi-long term relationship with BritBoy. We had been together for 8 months and I thought I was in love with him. In reality, looking back, it was more co-dependency than love. There were some fun times: he took me to Europe (he was British), we took a road trip to Canada, I celebrated his 21st birthday with him. Pause, yes he was quite a bit younger than I, should have known then! Needless to say, he ended up the relationship in order to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. To this day I choose to not think about the whole cheating aspect that was the end of our relationship (on his part not mine!).

Since I was single again, and had still never dated anyone in the same faith as me, my parents got me a subscription to JDate - an online dating service for Jewish singles. I had spoken with a few men. Gone out on a few dates. Nothing really noteworthy. I don't remember who sent the first email (it was a long time ago!) but I found myself chatting with a guy, let's name him Archie Law, who I thought had a very attractive photo. He had gone to school for Architecture and was currently in Law school (get the name now? Ha, I crack myself up sometimes). We decided to meet and watch a movie the night before NYE (so that would have been NYE 2009).

On my drive to his house that night I remember being really nervous. Was this the right thing to do? I had only seen one picture of him, what if I wasn't attracted to him? What if he was a serial killer? Yes, these are all things that I thought. I showed up, he opened the door, and I immediately felt relieved. He was adorable, just my type! I won't bore you with the details, but that turned out to be the longest first date in the history of the world. I stayed the night (no judgements please), and the next night (yes NYE), and for a third.

We continued to "date" - I use the term very loosely - for maybe a month. I was getting antsy and wanted to define it, etc etc. He had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship and was in no hurry to jump into another one. I had also suspected he was "dating" other woman, I had asked him a few times - more like nagged - he denied it. Long story short, I convinced myself that he was sleeping with other people. This from an open IM window he left on his laptop when he went to the bathroom. He has his own reasons that he wanted to stop contact with me. And thus, we just stopped speaking with each other. And for the next two years I would fondly refer to him as Asshole Architect.

Fast forward to this past December - two years after we met. I resigned on to JDate just to see who was around. Almost immediately a window popped up saying that Archie Law wanted to chat. I was thinking, Oh great what does this ass want, no really I was! We briefly caught up on life, etc. And that was that. The next weekend I had a Christmas party at my neighbors house. They were all asking about MrGrizz and when would I complete my degree, it was torture! I ended up imbibing a wee bit too much. Next thing I knew I texted AL - I had never deleted his number. We texted back and forth for almost an hour when my phone started ringing. He was calling me... but why?! We ended up chatting until 4 am that morning, I was very sober by the end! And decided to meet for lunch after his finals were over in a few days. We continued to text throughout those days, then it was finally Tuesday...

I drove up to his house - nervous and feeling like I shouldn't be making this mistake again - and as soon as I saw him I knew I was in trouble. That attraction was there instantly, while it felt like 2 years ago, I knew I was much older and wiser than my former self. We had a lovely lunch. Decided to relive our first date by watching a movie. The same movie has chance had it. And the same thing resulted. I did not go home that night.

This time I played it cool though! We were both on holiday break, and ended up seeing a lot of each other the next week. He came out with my family for our normal Christmas Eve dinner of Chinese food. Between Christmas and NY he was in NY and I was in DC visiting my grandmother. But we reconnected for NYE when I joined him for a wedding up in the Poconos. That was a disastrous weekend!!! Completely and 100% due to me. I may or may tell you all about it. After NYE, he was in CO for a week, I went back to work. Then I went to LA for work. It was an insane amount of traveling. We spoke occasionally while we were both away and would reconnect when we were both in the same area code.

Finally a few weeks ago the traveling was done. We now talk everyday. He calls. We text. We hang out. We do sleepovers. This is no longer dating, this is basically a relationship. I'm nervous. But excited. I'm petrified of getting hurt. I can honestly say that I know I could fall in love with him. Which frightens me to no end. I am trying to put the past in the past. I know there are no other girls now. I need to learn to trust him. To trust anyone.

I guess we will see where this goes... I have high hopes :)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Groundhogs Day!

How great of a movie is Groundhogs Day. I could watch it over and over again. Hysterical! In the spirit of the large rodent holiday - I mean I am in Pennsylvania after all - I found this funny infographic recapping all the predictions!


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Updates

Where to begin?...? Some updates...

Work: Status quo. Still a professional student/researcher/educator/slave. Ah, such is the life of a grad student. I have been accepted to a few conferences, which means some travelling this Spring! I'm both petrified (my public speaking skills rival Mia's at the beginning of Princess Diaries, no joke) and excited. I am still convinced that my boss hates me though.

Friends: E+T's wedding was amazing!! I am officially a bridesmaid for VetChick's upcoming Fall wedding. TeachG and her bf, A, moved in together, picked out a ring together, and chose a wedding date together (Fall 2012) but are not officially engaged. TeachS has a new/old man in her life - its her first love, back in her life. Notice a pattern? Yes, out of my 4 best friends, 3 of their wedding's will be within 2 years of each other. I promise not to allow this blog to turn into a bitch fest about being a bridesmaid.

Love?: I have a new man in my life. We are dating, I guess. I have made it a point not to ask the "where is this going" question, and try to go with the flow. The operative word in that sentence being try. I will post tomorrow on how we met, etc. Because wow is that a story!

Travel: I went to a conference in L.A. in the middle of January. It was a fast 4 day trip, and the talks were really boring, but Cali was gorgeous! It was my first visit to the western state, and while downtown LA wasn't for me, Long Beach was superb! I must make a non-work trip back there. I also just booked tickets for a long weekend trip to Colorado at the end of this month. I have family out in Denver and they have a house in the mountains, which means... skiing!!! I am beyond excited about this trip. The family that lives out there are (shh don't tell anyone) my favorite Aunt/Uncle and cousins. Unfortunately I rarely get to see them since they are so far away.

MrGrizz: I know I said I would not go into details. But consider this my paragraph to closure. After the breakup phone call I have not spoken to him since. Well that is not the complete truth. Two weeks to the day after the phone call, I checked my phone and saw that he had texted me (uhh excuse me, what?! cue heart attack).

When I read the words, my heart sank and I proceeded to vomit (sorry, is that too much info?). I'm paraphrasing, but in less than two sentences he told me that a mutual friend of ours had been killed. I dropped the phone. I immediately called him and wanted to know what on Earth he was talking about. Needless to say I was so caught off guard and upset that it didn't hit me how awkward it was to be talking him. I was so distraught I quickly got off the phone with him - not before fumbling and asking how he was doing, how was the family, etc. I don't deal well with death or surprises or any combination. And that was it. The last time I have spoken with him.

I would be lying if I said my eyes were not filling up with tears and I think about this last conversation. Mainly for our friend that was lost. And slightly for the loss of MrGrizz as a friend and confidant. I'm sorry if that makes me selfish, but I am being honest. Forever the two events are coupled in my mind: the breakup and my friend's death. Maybe it is a coping mechanism, to have two heartbreaks rolled into one, I just don't know.


I'll end on a less depressing note. I made a complete fool of myself the other day!! I had also thought that the saying was "for all intensive purposes." Yes, I realize this makes no sense at all, but I never thought about it. Yesterday I was in a big board meeting with professers, grad students, and some business people from industry and I use the aforementioned saying. More than once actually. Post meeting an aquiantence of mine who was also in attendance came over and whispered to me that its actually "for all intents and purposes." Uhh, what?! Epic fail. I felt like an idiot. At least I know for now on though, right? This is kind of like when I thought that the drink a rum & coke was called a Roman coke. Oops.

Monday, January 31, 2011

To new beginnings

I've been avoiding typing any new posts for a few reasons. Mainly, I don't want to delve into details of the latest breakup. I think, no, I know that I have found closure from the relationship; but bringing it back up in text form seems like I would reopen some wounds and maybe show me that I have no yet actually fully gotten over the hurt and pain he caused me.

A lot has changed in the last month, and while it may seem like out of the blue on this blog, a lot of said changes have been months in the making...

So I propose a fresh blogging start; With the new month starting tomorrow, a new beginning, and a new outlook. I will attempt to be better at blogging daily, if you promise to leave the past in the past and not judge me too much for how I have moved on.


To new beginnings...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The End... No, meant Beginning

I have been dreading writing this post for the past month. But with the New Year upon us, I guess I should man-up and just T-Y-P-E it… MrGrizz and I are no longer. Wow, that sounded so diplomatic.

If I am allowed to be honest (and my honest I mean this is my blog, so who cares), he broke my heart; The first night of Hanukkah no less. Yes, so almost a month ago he called me on a Wednesday and said “we need to break up.” I have mulled it over and over in my head. I don’t want to bring up old feelings that have taken the last weeks to bury, but the moral is: It’s for the best. I may go into more detail at a later date, but for right now I want to leave it at that.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dress Dilema

I promise I will recap MrGrizz's birthday weekend soon (tomorrow?). But first, I need some help. I have T&E's wedding this weekend and too many dress options.

The wedding is Black Tie Invited - I assume this is the new terminology for Black Tie Optional. MrGrizz is wearing the black Calvin Klein suit (yummy) we got him this past weekend. If any males in your life needs a suit, head over to Macy's! They are having a suit-sale, combine that with the 20% off pass from the paper, and the extra 15% off I get using my Macy's charge, we got his suit, a shirt, and tie all for ~$220!!! Less than my shoes cost, ha.

My initial thought on what to wear was this black Nicole Miller I had bought at the beginning of the summer. There is a boutique near me called Bedazzled and every summer the husband and wife owners go down the shore and close up shop. The week before this happens they try and get rid of all their inventory (including gowns) and have them up to 75% off. I had seen this dress a few months earlier when I had taken my little sister there to go Prom Dress shopping. Tried it on. LOVED IT. But could not justify spending $700 on a dress that I did not need. When I went back in June, sure enough, on sale! I ended up getting the dress for $200. Amazing. Here is a horribly blurry cell phone picture of me in the dress, next to the picture from their website.
I was all set to wear this, and then a slight conundrum. My good friend TeachG recently moved in with her boyfriend of 2 years. We know, they know, she knows they will be getting married sooner than later. She has already been putting some thought (and sharing) ideas for these soon-to-be upcoming nuptials. She stated that she envisions her bridesmaid (aka me also) in long black gowns of our choosing. Well, hm, my Nicole Miller fits right into that! Awesome, dress is already found - and its simple enough that it won't go out of style. Only problem, it is the same group of friends. And true, the weddings will be at least a year apart, while looking back at pictures I don't want to be in the same dress. Silly? Probably. But it's how I feel.

Enter dress #2. I got this dress when a boutique in the local mall closed a few years ago. I think I paid $120 for it, and the label says Versace! No joke. I mean its from like the 2005 line, but who cares. They actually had two of the same dress, one in gold and one in merlot. The sister took the gold, and I the other. She actually wore hers to my cousin's black tie Bar Mitzvah a few years ago. I still have never worn mine. A lot of work had to be done to it for it to fit correctly. After almost $300 to the tailor, it finally fit (shortened, got the bust redone, added in bra cups, etc etc). This is what I planned on wearing up until this past weekend. Do I love it? No. Do I like it? Sure. It's just not me. I don't know how else to explain it. I do not feel 100% comfortable in it. I just don't think I look as good as I could in it.
Dress #3 - this past weekend while getting MrGrizz's suit, I stopped by Neiman Marcus (Stupid move) just to look. Sure enough, I saw THE DRESS. It just spoke to me. I tried it on. Swoon. It;s an Aidan Mattox (yea, I had never heard of him either). I already had two dresses in my closet at home all ready to go and what do I do? Buy a brand new $400 dress. Hit head on table. The only problem? Its about 2 feet too long. They are doing a rush job on the hemming (everything else fit perfectly), but I won't get to see it or try it on until Saturday morning. Oh did I mention that the seamstress wasn't there so we had to pin it ourselves. Um, I'm sorry what?! I had no idea what I was doing. So it might be the wrong length. The wedding is in upstate NJ (can it be described that way?), a 2.5 hour drive and we need to check into the hotel at 3. Basically I am going to pick up the dress and just bring it with me. So it needs to be perfect. Which dress do you like best?
My plan, as of right now, is to bring the Versace dress as a back up in case the new one doesn't fit. And also bring 3 pairs of shoes - almost flats, normal shoes, and super high ones - I figure between all of these one of them will make the dress the correct length on me. And worse, comes to worse, wear the other one. Any other ideas?? I am at a loss of what else to do. My mum's advice: DO NOT BUY yet ANOTHER DRESS! Ha. I am agreeing with her on this one! Have you ever bought too many outfits for one occasion?

Oh, one last thing, for comparisons sake, here is my sister in the Versace gold gown. From L-R: Lil Sis, then my two cousins, then me in Spring 2008. You may ask why didn't I just wear the gown that I had on here. Well, its too big! YAY!!! I wore it to a wedding and then to this Bar Mitzvah. Actually now that I think about it, I bought it at Bedazzled! It will be making an appearance at T&E's wedding though - TeachS is borrowing it to wear! She went shopping in my closet a few weeks ago, along with VetChick. I am happy to report they will both be borrowing gowns of mine for the occasion. I'm glad someone is saving money, ha.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Weekend Movie Recap

This weekend was jam packed with a bit of everything. First on the agenda, got MrGrizz a suit! We have T&E's wedding coming up next weekend and someone has nothing to wear. Done! We also had an early Thanksgiving dinner with friends hosted by M&M. Delicious! Interspersed throughout, we watched (and relaxed to) some new movies/shows. Here goes...

The Walking Dead
TV show on AMC
I hadn't actually heard anything about this until a few days ago when my brother mentioned it. Now you should know, both MrGrizz and I love all things Zombie, so this was a must see. We watched it OnDemand (+100pts for less commercials) and it was awesome. I had to keep reminding myself it was a TV show not a movie. There were some parts that were a little drawn out, but I think that had more to do with the fact it was the pilot episode and they needed to explain things. I think the show is on Sunday nights on AMC - I'll be watching them after the fact whenever I have time. As of now (again, only first episode watched), I am saying this is a definite recommendation if you enjoy zombie folklore (and neat special effects!).

Due Date
In Theaters
This is the new movie with Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis. I am a fan of both of these actors, so it was a no brainer to go see this in the theater. I would say that if you liked the movie "The Hangover" you would enjoy the sense the humor in this movie. Did I laugh? Yes. Were there some uncomfortable awkward parts? Yes. Did I like it? Yes. It made me laugh. What more can I really ask for in a comedy. In truth, I could have been just as happy waiting to rent it instead of paying all the money to see it in the theater.

Antichrist
On DVD (or Netflix in our case)
I had no idea what this movie was at all. MrGrizz has had it in his Netflix instant queue for awhile and we have just never gotten around to watching it. Well I wish it would have stayed that way. Its a lesser known film, so here is a brief synopsis: A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window. The mother's grief consigns her to hospital, but her therapist husband brings her home intent on treating her depression himself. To confront her fears they go to stay at their remote cabin in the woods, "Eden". The movie is told in four chapters with a prologue and epilogue - a little odd at first, but got the hang of it. First, the good. The two actors, Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, did a superb job. Also, visually speaking, it was a gorgeous film to watch. It would keep cutting to these artsy shots of the woods, or the surroundings. A lot of neat slow motion effects with the foliage were depicted as well. The bad. I had a hard time following the plot at some points. I understood what was happening overall, but towards the end, not why. I had to look up online the ending and what it meant - still no clarity on that one. It was a really dark film. Not so much BOO-scary, but a freaked-out spooky scary. The ugly. It is extremely graphic. There are a lot of scenes of intimacy between the husband and wife. When I say you see things, oh you see them. This part actually didn't bother me at all. But if sex bothers you, or watching other people pretend to have it does, this film is not for you. Towards the end of the film, there are some very graphic mutilation scenes. Again, it fits with the story line so its, for lack of a better term, interesting for that reason. I did have to close my eyes for one part in particular (don't want to give it away in case you decide to see it). I watched MrGrizz's reaction and was glad I didn't see it! This is a hard movie to recommend or not. Did I enjoy it? Truth, I don't know. Did it make me think? Yes. Was it interesting in a creepy way? Yes. Am I still talking about it? Yes. If you have Netflix, I would watch the first 20 mins (nothing too bad happens in the beginning), and you will get a sense if you would be up for watching the rest of it.

Get Him to the Greek
On DVD
After watching Antichrist, MrGrizz and I had our heads spinning and needed something to bring us back to reality. We had seen this movies in the theater when it first opened and he had just gotten it on BluRay. To give an accurate review, I will admit I slept through this viewing. It was late, I had work the next morning, and I was still thinking about the other movie. I saw bits and pieces while in and out of dream land. When I saw it in the theaters I remember really liking it. Again, the same Hangover, Due Date and Forgetting Sarah Marshall kind of humor. My favorite part was the opening. HYSTERICAL! Russel Brand plays the same musician character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (LOVE that movie!). It was entertaining, funny for most parts, and a little on the long side. There are a few hysterical, pee your pants scenes; followed by some plot moving, somewhat boring, ones. Overall, rent it. If its your kind of humor, you will not be disappointed.