Book Review

I finally finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. A friend lent me the book awhile ago (Karen, I am returning it this weekend!), and I had never gotten past the prologue. When I heard they were doing an American movie (they already have a Swedish version) I made a promise to myself that I would finally finish the book. I have a habit of starting books (for example: The Da Vinci Code) and once I find out they are making a movie for it, I stop. Horrible thing to admit I know.

Side note: They made one of my favorite books into a movie (Choke by Chuck Palahniuk) and I HATED it - the movie, that is. Awful, awful, awful. But I wonder if I had not read the book - or liked the book - would I have enjoyed the movie? There are also a few books that (I think) I would love if they made into a movie: Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahnuik, The Giver by Lois Lowry (my favorite childhood book), and World War Z by Max Brooks. What book would you like to see on the big screen?

Review of the book. I LOVED IT! I didn't start out loving it. The beginning has two story lines, that you know are going to intersect, but it takes awhile for it to happen. That just annoys me, as it was very confusing in the beginning. I also despise when movies do this. I end up asking a million questions and annoying everyone in the audience. I also want to point out, that I had no idea what the novel was about! I had no expectations going into it, except that almost everyone on my morning train commute was reading it (men and woman alike!). It turned out to be part mystery, part corporate thriller. They do deal with some adult themes: rape, murder, assault; but not in an overtly gory way.

I do have a confession to make. Once I realized what one of the main mysteries of the book was, I turned the book a few hundred pages and skimmed to find out the answer. Yes, I am one of those people. Ha.

In short, I definitely recommend the book! There are three (so far) in the series of these characters. I plan on reading the other two at some point - may move on to something else in the mean time.

I actually just put in an Amazon.com order for my next set of books to read, including: The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest by Stieg Larsson. These are the next two in the series. Also, Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov. A friend told me about this, and it sounds both informative and hysterical. So we shall see. I'll probably read this one next, then finish out The Girl series. What is on your reading list?

Girl Crush

I love Brigitte Bardot - and I especially love this photo of her. I must find a guitar this weekend. Whenever asked who would I have play me in a movie I answer with a brunette Brigitte.

And yes, I will acknowledge that she kind of does remind me of Pamela Anderson. And in related news, my other girl crushes: Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman. Is anyone else looking forward to seeing Black Swan? Who is your girl crush?

iPhone

Up until recently people were absolutely shocked that I didn't have an iPhones. It just doesn't fit my tech-nerd-engineer profile to NOT have an iPhone. My response was that I was afraid of being too connected - that I would like to keep my phone my phone and my computer my computer.

But then I got the iPhone 3GS (I know the 4 is out now, more on that later). I was tempted by the fruit. And from there my worst fears about the whole thing came true.

I've had my fun for a good six months but I'm ready to put in place a few rules... if only for myself.

The iPhone Rules:

• I will not use my iPhone as a distraction in order to avoid awkward social situations. Like being in an elevator full of strangers. Instead, I will face them head-on, like generations before us, with a small talk and a smile.
• I will not look at my iPhone while have a meal or conversation with someone. This is probably my biggest pet peeve in the whole world. It used to kill me when I was iPhone free but since I got mine I've noticed myself slipping into this unattractive habit. When I'm choosing to have a meal with someone, I want that person to feel like they are the most important person in the whole world. I want to give them my undivided attention and would like the same in return (by the way, I fail at this often). And on that note...
• I will not check my iPhone just because someone else is. This behavior is contagious - like a sneeze. One person checks their phone and it becomes a domino effect. Because nobody likes sitting around looking like they have nothing to do while their friends are checking out what everyone else in the world is doing.
• I will not check my email after 7pm. This extends to my computer as well. Work has been following me into the evenings and I don't like it. No matter how much that little email icon on my iPhone is haunting me - but I will not check it. Again, often fail at this. I will also probably get yelled at for this rule, because as a graduate student we are slaves! Its true, but that is an entirely different post.
• I will choose reading books or magazines over refreshing my Facebook every 3 seconds. FB has become an addiction. I HAVE to know what my 200 friends have to say, or what they are doing, or now where they are, all the time. The iPhone is an enabler.
• I will not choose playing Zombie Farm over getting it on. Again, not just a funny exaggeration. I'm putting an end to this torrid love affair with the zombies. In fact, I'm going to ban my iPhone (as sexy as it is) from hanging out in the bedroom altogether. Well at least when I am in a bedroom with MrGrizz, otherwise I'm allowed! Hm, he should probably follow this rule too, hint hint.

With all of that said, I love the maps, camera and the immediate and accessible resources the iPhone allows. But from here on out, I'm choosing real life over the one that fits in the palm of my hand.

Yes, I know the iPhone 4 has just come out. I am not going to upgrade for awhile. MrGrizz just put in the order for his 4 last night (mainly for the awesome camera it has), and all I could do was laugh and think of this comic from The Oatmeal:

Me and My Extravagant Birthday Wishes

My birthday is coming up next month. I am still not sure how exactly to feel about this. I mean twenty-five just sounds old! No really. Say it outloud: Twenty Five. Sounds so much more "adult" than twenty-four. It sounds like I should have a real job (graduate school does not count, uncheck), a house (nope), at least an apartment (nope again). I can honestly say I have only had a minor nervous breakdown for one birthday, when I turned 20. It was a huge mind-game, not being a teenager anymore.

In order to keep my mind off of the impending old age, ha, I will put together a birthday present wish list. Now it may be important to add, I am the worst person for which to buy gifts! I do not really need anything. And if I really want something, I get it myself. Oh, and I am INCREDIBLY picky. It is so bad. I mean I am so appreciative if I am gifted anything. I really do not expect it. And then I feel so guilty when I don't love it. It's bad.

Alas, here is my oh-so-extravagant dream present list:

• A trip to some tropical destination: Tahiti? St Barths? Aruba? Hawaii? Any place with clear water, great food, snorkeling, and relaxation. Perhaps, a cruise?

• Macy's Le Vian Gold Lemon Quartz ring. Does this remind anyone else of Dynasty?! So gaudy and over the top. Love. I'm a size 7-7.5 ring in case anyone was wondering.
  

• A fancy digital SLR camera. I love taking pictures. But am not so great at it. Maybe a nice camera would help!
• Speaking of photography. I have a few friends that are great photographers. I am, however, not the most photogenic. This is true. I love the way I look, not in pictures. But then viola, I end up looking horrible in the prints. Not so good. So, a real live photo-shoot would be a great present!! I would love to have some nice artsy (good) photos of me. Ha, vain much?!
• All the past seasons of Dexter on DVD. Hm, nevermind. Take this off my extravagant wish list, as this is not what I would consider that by any means. Plus, I think I am going to buy this for myself, or ask my Mum to get it for me for Hanukkah.
  
• A hiking/safari trip up Kilimanjaro.
  
• A Lori Earley print. I am especially drawn to "Caterpillar Dream" or "The Parting."
  

• Did I mention a vacation?!

Hmmm. That is all I can think of off the top of my head.

the F word

FUTURE.

It’s a scary word. A stressful word. It is a concept that I have been dealing with a lot the past few weeks. In one sense of the word in particular: relationships.

A few things you should know: I am a control freak. And I have horribly anxiety. This is exacerbated when I am not in control. Let us just some it up with: I don’t like not knowing what is going on. Drives me nuts. I think this is also why I have such problems with surprises. Also, two and half of my close friends are engaged. I already told you about VetChick. My friend’s E and T are getting married in November. And the ½ refers to TeachG who will be getting engaged by the end of the year*.

Needless to say, I am surrounded by weddings. And so it comes up, maybe a little too much, in conversation with MrGrizz. He is starting to get annoyed. Very annoyed. He has some friends who are married, some who are engaged, and some who are getting divorced. He doesn’t think too highly of marriage. Mainly (I think) because his mother keeps badgering him about when he is going to “settle down.”

This is really frustrating for me. I know his stances on it. Which can be easily summed up as: Most people rush in to these kinds of things or settle, because getting married and procreating are what we're "supposed" to do. Live your life and share it with someone if you want to, not because you "have" to.

I have always said that I want a marriage not a wedding. So I should be happy with just sharing my life with someone else.

Please excuse the fact that my thoughts are a little all over the place with this post. A) It’s a Monday B) I haven’t fully figured out how I feel about all of this and C) I don’t know, but it seemed like there should be a C.

On one hand, I so do not feel ready for marriage. With anyone. I am selfish and self-centered and like doing my own thing. But in the same sense, am I ever going to feel ready?

Yes, weddings and babies do keep coming up in conversation between MrGrizz and me. That is what my friends are going through, with me by their sides. Yes a few times we have talked about it in regards to ‘us.’ But I don’t feel like I’m pushing or nagging. I am just worried that he does.

I realized about halfway through this I really need to learn to gather my thoughts before I write blog posts!! I will rethink what it is I am actually trying to say, and then repost.

Mental note: Must get better at this blogging thing.

*She and her boyfriend are moving in together in September with the understanding there will be a formal engagement within a few months.

UPDATE (written 2 hrs after above)

Things not to do: Text your SO in the middle of the day saying you want to talk about something but not now.

Within 30 seconds of reading the text, you will get a phone call.

Oh goodness, the things I put MrGrizz through. So we just chatted about marriage, without ever saying the word mind you. He had his nervous uncomfortable laugh. I was mortified and weird on the phone. Basically we agreed to not talk about weddings/marriage/"settling down" in regards to us. It is OK to discuss our friends etc. though.

I knew he had been feeling uncomfortable about this for awhile. Being surrounded by weddings. I could tell it affected him. I don't know if he knew that, until I told him that is how he felt. Ha.

But when someone tells you not to think about elephants, what is the first thing you think about? ELEPHANTS!

Have I told you that he and I have only been together 2.5 months. Oh crap, now you all probably think I am a crazy person. But he was the first one to bring it up about 2 months ago when he asked me if I wanted to elope. I truly believe that when couples start talking about the future too early on, they doom their relationship. There is then too much pressure. It cannot be lived up to. In the same sense, I do think it is important that both people know from where the other is coming. Ugh, so complicated!!

I feel like a walking contradiction. I don't to rush anything, and want to let things naturally progress, but now that I am not supposed to think about it or talk about it, it seems to be the only thing on my mind.

Hurt

This past weekend was one of my best friend's birthdays. Surprisingly enough, it was two of my besties' parties (one Friday night and one Saturday). Saturday was a blast - went to a hibachi restaurant -- YUM!! Dinner reservations were late for me though (we didn't start eating until 8:30), so I was exhausted! But it was well worth it.

I wanted to start out on a positive note before I delve into the events of Friday night.

To set the stage. Good friend JB's actual birthday was Friday and he had his party that same night. Now JB is getting ready to move out of his current apartment (the roommates already have), so the place is pretty bare and very large. Perfect place for a "house party." I knew about half the people there. There was one girl there that I did not know, TanGirl. She was playing the dumb blond card speaking in that attention seeking whiny voice. While I did not particularly care for this person, it was not my place to judge. I simply did my best to ignore her. There were some other girls that were in attendance who were making their distaste for TanGirl quite obvious. It was rude. But honestly, I cannot blame them. Towards the end of the night, it had died down to about 10ish people. Everyone was sitting around the couches in the living room chatting. JB's little sister was in the back room talking on her cell phone and seemed a little upset so I went back to talk to her.

Upon my re-entrance to the living room (again to set the stage the 9-10 people, about half i know, were all sitting in a circle talking in a group), the following words were exchanged:

TanGirl: Why are you talking shit about me?

Me: excuse me?
TanGirl: said that the short fat chick was talking shit about me
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Other Guy's Name: No I meant the other one
TanGirl: Oh
At this point I walked back into the room to gather my thoughts. As I was walking down the hallway I heard TanGirl say, "well she is the chunkiest one here, what was I supposed to think." At this point I grabbed my bag, said goodbye to the few I knew and went home. I needed to remove myself from the situation. Now I am slightly OK with the fact that the people that I knew in the circle did not say anything. It wasn't their place. What I am hurt and horrified about, is that JB (who was hosting the party, one of my best friends, and friend to TanGirl and the one who invited all of us) did not say anything to her or stand up for me.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting him to do or say. But anything would have sufficed. I would never let my friends speak that way. Especially in front of a group of people. I know people with think what they want. Fine, think it. Say it behind my back. I really don't care. I am 25 years old and yes I am slightly overweight. You don't think I know that? But to call me out on that in front of a roomful of people. I think that's cowardly.

I am a little mad at myself for saying nothing and walking away. I felt like I ran away from the situation instead of diffusing it. Since Friday night I have thought of a million things to say to that girl. Really, a million. I am kind of glad that I just walked away though. At the time I did it out of respect for JB and his party. But now I like to think that I did it out of respect for myself.

Sorry this is such a depressing post. Just has been on my mind. And no I haven't heard from JB yet. I am debating whether or not I should write him an email explaining how hurt and disappointed I am. I may wait until I calm down just a bit more.

Space... The final frontier

To go along with my Space theme for the day...

My dad is an aerospace engineer and sent me these videos. They are really neat and if you have a chance check them out:

Hm, this first one I cannot seem to post the actual video. Its from USATODAY and shows the timeline progression of the building of the space station (my favorite of the three, but not the flashiest): Click Me

The "fly around" of the ISS:

Interior Vid of ISS: