The End... No, meant Beginning

I have been dreading writing this post for the past month. But with the New Year upon us, I guess I should man-up and just T-Y-P-E it… MrGrizz and I are no longer. Wow, that sounded so diplomatic.

If I am allowed to be honest (and my honest I mean this is my blog, so who cares), he broke my heart; The first night of Hanukkah no less. Yes, so almost a month ago he called me on a Wednesday and said “we need to break up.” I have mulled it over and over in my head. I don’t want to bring up old feelings that have taken the last weeks to bury, but the moral is: It’s for the best. I may go into more detail at a later date, but for right now I want to leave it at that.

Dress Dilema

I promise I will recap MrGrizz's birthday weekend soon (tomorrow?). But first, I need some help. I have T&E's wedding this weekend and too many dress options.

The wedding is Black Tie Invited - I assume this is the new terminology for Black Tie Optional. MrGrizz is wearing the black Calvin Klein suit (yummy) we got him this past weekend. If any males in your life needs a suit, head over to Macy's! They are having a suit-sale, combine that with the 20% off pass from the paper, and the extra 15% off I get using my Macy's charge, we got his suit, a shirt, and tie all for ~$220!!! Less than my shoes cost, ha.

My initial thought on what to wear was this black Nicole Miller I had bought at the beginning of the summer. There is a boutique near me called Bedazzled and every summer the husband and wife owners go down the shore and close up shop. The week before this happens they try and get rid of all their inventory (including gowns) and have them up to 75% off. I had seen this dress a few months earlier when I had taken my little sister there to go Prom Dress shopping. Tried it on. LOVED IT. But could not justify spending $700 on a dress that I did not need. When I went back in June, sure enough, on sale! I ended up getting the dress for $200. Amazing. Here is a horribly blurry cell phone picture of me in the dress, next to the picture from their website.

I was all set to wear this, and then a slight conundrum. My good friend TeachG recently moved in with her boyfriend of 2 years. We know, they know, she knows they will be getting married sooner than later. She has already been putting some thought (and sharing) ideas for these soon-to-be upcoming nuptials. She stated that she envisions her bridesmaid (aka me also) in long black gowns of our choosing. Well, hm, my Nicole Miller fits right into that! Awesome, dress is already found - and its simple enough that it won't go out of style. Only problem, it is the same group of friends. And true, the weddings will be at least a year apart, while looking back at pictures I don't want to be in the same dress. Silly? Probably. But it's how I feel.

Enter dress #2. I got this dress when a boutique in the local mall closed a few years ago. I think I paid $120 for it, and the label says Versace! No joke. I mean its from like the 2005 line, but who cares. They actually had two of the same dress, one in gold and one in merlot. The sister took the gold, and I the other. She actually wore hers to my cousin's black tie Bar Mitzvah a few years ago. I still have never worn mine. A lot of work had to be done to it for it to fit correctly. After almost $300 to the tailor, it finally fit (shortened, got the bust redone, added in bra cups, etc etc). This is what I planned on wearing up until this past weekend. Do I love it? No. Do I like it? Sure. It's just not me. I don't know how else to explain it. I do not feel 100% comfortable in it. I just don't think I look as good as I could in it.

Dress #3 - this past weekend while getting MrGrizz's suit, I stopped by Neiman Marcus (Stupid move) just to look. Sure enough, I saw THE DRESS. It just spoke to me. I tried it on. Swoon. It;s an Aidan Mattox (yea, I had never heard of him either). I already had two dresses in my closet at home all ready to go and what do I do? Buy a brand new $400 dress. Hit head on table. The only problem? Its about 2 feet too long. They are doing a rush job on the hemming (everything else fit perfectly), but I won't get to see it or try it on until Saturday morning. Oh did I mention that the seamstress wasn't there so we had to pin it ourselves. Um, I'm sorry what?! I had no idea what I was doing. So it might be the wrong length. The wedding is in upstate NJ (can it be described that way?), a 2.5 hour drive and we need to check into the hotel at 3. Basically I am going to pick up the dress and just bring it with me. So it needs to be perfect. Which dress do you like best?

My plan, as of right now, is to bring the Versace dress as a back up in case the new one doesn't fit. And also bring 3 pairs of shoes - almost flats, normal shoes, and super high ones - I figure between all of these one of them will make the dress the correct length on me. And worse, comes to worse, wear the other one. Any other ideas?? I am at a loss of what else to do. My mum's advice: DO NOT BUY yet ANOTHER DRESS! Ha. I am agreeing with her on this one! Have you ever bought too many outfits for one occasion?

Oh, one last thing, for comparisons sake, here is my sister in the Versace gold gown. From L-R: Lil Sis, then my two cousins, then me in Spring 2008. You may ask why didn't I just wear the gown that I had on here. Well, its too big! YAY!!! I wore it to a wedding and then to this Bar Mitzvah. Actually now that I think about it, I bought it at Bedazzled! It will be making an appearance at T&E's wedding though - TeachS is borrowing it to wear! She went shopping in my closet a few weeks ago, along with VetChick. I am happy to report they will both be borrowing gowns of mine for the occasion. I'm glad someone is saving money, ha.

Weekend Movie Recap

This weekend was jam packed with a bit of everything. First on the agenda, got MrGrizz a suit! We have T&E's wedding coming up next weekend and someone has nothing to wear. Done! We also had an early Thanksgiving dinner with friends hosted by M&M. Delicious! Interspersed throughout, we watched (and relaxed to) some new movies/shows. Here goes...

The Walking Dead
TV show on AMC
I hadn't actually heard anything about this until a few days ago when my brother mentioned it. Now you should know, both MrGrizz and I love all things Zombie, so this was a must see. We watched it OnDemand (+100pts for less commercials) and it was awesome. I had to keep reminding myself it was a TV show not a movie. There were some parts that were a little drawn out, but I think that had more to do with the fact it was the pilot episode and they needed to explain things. I think the show is on Sunday nights on AMC - I'll be watching them after the fact whenever I have time. As of now (again, only first episode watched), I am saying this is a definite recommendation if you enjoy zombie folklore (and neat special effects!).

Due Date
In Theaters
This is the new movie with Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis. I am a fan of both of these actors, so it was a no brainer to go see this in the theater. I would say that if you liked the movie "The Hangover" you would enjoy the sense the humor in this movie. Did I laugh? Yes. Were there some uncomfortable awkward parts? Yes. Did I like it? Yes. It made me laugh. What more can I really ask for in a comedy. In truth, I could have been just as happy waiting to rent it instead of paying all the money to see it in the theater.

Antichrist
On DVD (or Netflix in our case)
I had no idea what this movie was at all. MrGrizz has had it in his Netflix instant queue for awhile and we have just never gotten around to watching it. Well I wish it would have stayed that way. Its a lesser known film, so here is a brief synopsis: A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window. The mother's grief consigns her to hospital, but her therapist husband brings her home intent on treating her depression himself. To confront her fears they go to stay at their remote cabin in the woods, "Eden". The movie is told in four chapters with a prologue and epilogue - a little odd at first, but got the hang of it. First, the good. The two actors, Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, did a superb job. Also, visually speaking, it was a gorgeous film to watch. It would keep cutting to these artsy shots of the woods, or the surroundings. A lot of neat slow motion effects with the foliage were depicted as well. The bad. I had a hard time following the plot at some points. I understood what was happening overall, but towards the end, not why. I had to look up online the ending and what it meant - still no clarity on that one. It was a really dark film. Not so much BOO-scary, but a freaked-out spooky scary. The ugly. It is extremely graphic. There are a lot of scenes of intimacy between the husband and wife. When I say you see things, oh you see them. This part actually didn't bother me at all. But if sex bothers you, or watching other people pretend to have it does, this film is not for you. Towards the end of the film, there are some very graphic mutilation scenes. Again, it fits with the story line so its, for lack of a better term, interesting for that reason. I did have to close my eyes for one part in particular (don't want to give it away in case you decide to see it). I watched MrGrizz's reaction and was glad I didn't see it! This is a hard movie to recommend or not. Did I enjoy it? Truth, I don't know. Did it make me think? Yes. Was it interesting in a creepy way? Yes. Am I still talking about it? Yes. If you have Netflix, I would watch the first 20 mins (nothing too bad happens in the beginning), and you will get a sense if you would be up for watching the rest of it.

Get Him to the Greek
On DVD
After watching Antichrist, MrGrizz and I had our heads spinning and needed something to bring us back to reality. We had seen this movies in the theater when it first opened and he had just gotten it on BluRay. To give an accurate review, I will admit I slept through this viewing. It was late, I had work the next morning, and I was still thinking about the other movie. I saw bits and pieces while in and out of dream land. When I saw it in the theaters I remember really liking it. Again, the same Hangover, Due Date and Forgetting Sarah Marshall kind of humor. My favorite part was the opening. HYSTERICAL! Russel Brand plays the same musician character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (LOVE that movie!). It was entertaining, funny for most parts, and a little on the long side. There are a few hysterical, pee your pants scenes; followed by some plot moving, somewhat boring, ones. Overall, rent it. If its your kind of humor, you will not be disappointed.

Presents

I feel better!!! Unfortunately did not attempt the toast method, so cannot report on those results (next time maybe ill remember).

Last night MrGrizz and I had a date night (have I ever mentioned we are in a long distance relationship, LDR, so we only see each other weekends). We met in the middle and decided to do dinner and a movie since he'll be in the studio all weekend. Seeing him, and getting a nice big bear hug, definitely pulled me out of my funk. Although, I will admit we had a bit of an odd conversation at one point...

MrGrizz was raised Catholic (celebrates Christmas). I am Jewish (keep Kosher mostly, celebrate Hanukkah, never celebrated Christmas). We are both on budgets this year and decided to do a 40$ limit on presents. But is it 40$ for two presents- one for each Holiday? or 40$ on each? Very confusing. We decided that he would get me a Christmas present and I'd get him a Hanukkah present. Problem solved. Hanukkah is very early this year (starts December 1) and with November proving to be very busy (trip to DC, thanksgiving, T&E's wedding) I wanted to get my shopping done early. I got him his present (YAY! I think he'll really like it. And it was under 40$ barely). I also found something for his mum. And I was thinking what to get his sister and Dad. I told him what I got for his mum and he seemed upset. Side-note, I got her the three Stieg Larsson books that I had just finished. MrGrizz didn't like the idea of me getting his family gifts because then he would feel obligated to get my family gifts. I understand this from a monetary standpoint. But it upset me a little. I want to get his family Hanukkah gifts. I don't really care if he gets my family anything. I'm still unsure of what to do. I mean they wouldn't be extravagant gifts by any means, but I also don't want to upset them. I may hold off for a little while, maybe get them Christmas gifts. We'll see.

Feeling Sad? Make Toast!

Or so says some researchers at Cardiff University. Maybe I'll try this when I get home today. Have you ever had one of those days where you just are in a funk? Welcome to my day. In truth, I've been feeling like this all week. I just have some weeks were I feel, for lack of a better term, blah.

Whenever it happens I try and pinpoint from where it is stemming (just like I do for my anxiety also). This week the two are coupled: the blues & anxiety. This past weekend was MrGrizz birthday (a different post on the play we went to and the awesome surprise party I threw him!), and I did not get nearly enough sleep. Usually sleep deprivation like that triggers these feelings in me. Along with my, um, cycle being a little messed up (stupid hormones) this leads to me feeling BLAH. I do not like it!

So perhaps I will go home and make toast. When I first saw the title of the article I thought that was code for something. (Un)fortunately it was not.

Movie Reviews

Anyone who knows me knows I love movies! I really do. I don't know if its the stories, the visuals, the escape, all of the above; but there is nothing better to me than after a long stressful day (or week) of work cuddling up either in bed or in a theater and getting transported into a new time/place for a few hours.

I watch a good number of them a month. Netflix - greatest invention ever! So I thought every month or two doing a movie review post could be fun. From now on I'll take better notes of what I actually see, but for this post will have to do it by memory.

Red
In theaters
I really enjoyed it. It was a longer movie (almost 2 hours), but it did not seem drawn out at all. And I didn't get up to use the bathroom at all (a big deal for me, tiny tiny bladder). Along with the action, it was hysterical. I was laughing basically from start to finish. John Malkovich makes the movie. His character had me crying at one point I was laughing so hard. This movie is definitely a must see! Even though its an action move, I'd say renting it and seeing it on a regular TV would be just as good.

The Social Network
In theaters
I had been putting off seeing this movie. Yes I have a facebook account, but No I did not want to spend the money to see a movie about it. I was surprisingly pleased with the movie though. The actor who played Mark Zuckerberg, Jesse Eisenberg, did a superb job (side note, does anyone know if the real life person Mark has Asperger's syndrome?). The fact that I lived through a lot of the movie (I will clarify this statement in a second), made it even more interesting. Mark Zuckerberg is about my age and we were in collage the same time (not at the same school). I remember when my friends at Harvard and then Columbia would talk about this TheFacebook thing. When it finally came to my school - quite a while later - I remember everyone skipping classes to make an account. Recommend. But can definitely watch at home. Wait until Netflix.

The Human Centipede
On DVD
I want to preface this with I had absolutely NO desire to watch this movie what so ever. I had actually heard about it from my Dad, and after his mini description thought hell no! MrGrizz really wanted to see it and it was on instant watch on Netflix. It was late (I always fall asleep at late night movies in bed, always!), so I figured I'd probably be asleep shortly after the credits anyway, so why not. And I will admit, I was really curious to see what it actually looked like!! There were some definite GROSS parts. But mostly inferred grossness not outright showing you it (does that make sense). I was a little disappointed in what the human centipede actually looked like. If you are really interested, I'd suggest Google-ing it instead of wasting the time to watch the movie. In my opinion, this movie can be skipped.

Devil
In Theaters
I am usually disappointed with M Night Shyamalan movies, but I can say I was pleasantly surprised with this one. I mean, yes, of course some parts were predictable and it did have a creepiness factor to it. Its hard to talk about the movie without giving it away. When its on one of the movie channels or on Netflix instant queue, I'd say go for it.

The Expendables
In Theaters
I better have gotten brownie points for seeing this with MrGrizz. It is a total guy's action movie. Lots of violence. Not really any naked women. And lots and lots of killing. I wasn't bored while seeing it, and was mildly entertained. If you need to say I'm sorry to your (male) SO or want to make him really happy: Rent this.

The Other Guys
In Theaters
I will be completely honest, I had a full out panic attack while watching this movie. I vaguely remember the premise. It would be unfair to critique it all, because when I think of this movie all I remember is thinking I was dying the whole time. I did calm down a bit for the ending credits - really nicely done. Ha. When it comes out on DVD Ill try and watch it again.

Wow, I watch too many movies. Here are some other ones that came out recently on DVD recently that I've seen...
Iron Man 2: Go see it. Amazing. Just as great as I remember it from the theater.
A Nightmare on Elm Street: Neat graphics.Pretty good remake. Not too scary.
Letters to Juliet: Chick flick. Good if you want to turn your brain off for a little. Not believable storyline though.
Get Him to the Greek: I saw this in the theater so I don't remember specifics. I remember laughing a lot. And not hating it. Will put you in a good mood.
Predators: See description for The Expendables. Ha.

Ok maybe Ill do these a little more often so I don't have to write a novel each time! What movies have you seen recently that you: love, hate, fell asleep through?

Book Review

I finally finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. A friend lent me the book awhile ago (Karen, I am returning it this weekend!), and I had never gotten past the prologue. When I heard they were doing an American movie (they already have a Swedish version) I made a promise to myself that I would finally finish the book. I have a habit of starting books (for example: The Da Vinci Code) and once I find out they are making a movie for it, I stop. Horrible thing to admit I know.

Side note: They made one of my favorite books into a movie (Choke by Chuck Palahniuk) and I HATED it - the movie, that is. Awful, awful, awful. But I wonder if I had not read the book - or liked the book - would I have enjoyed the movie? There are also a few books that (I think) I would love if they made into a movie: Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahnuik, The Giver by Lois Lowry (my favorite childhood book), and World War Z by Max Brooks. What book would you like to see on the big screen?

Review of the book. I LOVED IT! I didn't start out loving it. The beginning has two story lines, that you know are going to intersect, but it takes awhile for it to happen. That just annoys me, as it was very confusing in the beginning. I also despise when movies do this. I end up asking a million questions and annoying everyone in the audience. I also want to point out, that I had no idea what the novel was about! I had no expectations going into it, except that almost everyone on my morning train commute was reading it (men and woman alike!). It turned out to be part mystery, part corporate thriller. They do deal with some adult themes: rape, murder, assault; but not in an overtly gory way.

I do have a confession to make. Once I realized what one of the main mysteries of the book was, I turned the book a few hundred pages and skimmed to find out the answer. Yes, I am one of those people. Ha.

In short, I definitely recommend the book! There are three (so far) in the series of these characters. I plan on reading the other two at some point - may move on to something else in the mean time.

I actually just put in an Amazon.com order for my next set of books to read, including: The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest by Stieg Larsson. These are the next two in the series. Also, Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov. A friend told me about this, and it sounds both informative and hysterical. So we shall see. I'll probably read this one next, then finish out The Girl series. What is on your reading list?

Girl Crush

I love Brigitte Bardot - and I especially love this photo of her. I must find a guitar this weekend. Whenever asked who would I have play me in a movie I answer with a brunette Brigitte.

And yes, I will acknowledge that she kind of does remind me of Pamela Anderson. And in related news, my other girl crushes: Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman. Is anyone else looking forward to seeing Black Swan? Who is your girl crush?

iPhone

Up until recently people were absolutely shocked that I didn't have an iPhones. It just doesn't fit my tech-nerd-engineer profile to NOT have an iPhone. My response was that I was afraid of being too connected - that I would like to keep my phone my phone and my computer my computer.

But then I got the iPhone 3GS (I know the 4 is out now, more on that later). I was tempted by the fruit. And from there my worst fears about the whole thing came true.

I've had my fun for a good six months but I'm ready to put in place a few rules... if only for myself.

The iPhone Rules:

• I will not use my iPhone as a distraction in order to avoid awkward social situations. Like being in an elevator full of strangers. Instead, I will face them head-on, like generations before us, with a small talk and a smile.
• I will not look at my iPhone while have a meal or conversation with someone. This is probably my biggest pet peeve in the whole world. It used to kill me when I was iPhone free but since I got mine I've noticed myself slipping into this unattractive habit. When I'm choosing to have a meal with someone, I want that person to feel like they are the most important person in the whole world. I want to give them my undivided attention and would like the same in return (by the way, I fail at this often). And on that note...
• I will not check my iPhone just because someone else is. This behavior is contagious - like a sneeze. One person checks their phone and it becomes a domino effect. Because nobody likes sitting around looking like they have nothing to do while their friends are checking out what everyone else in the world is doing.
• I will not check my email after 7pm. This extends to my computer as well. Work has been following me into the evenings and I don't like it. No matter how much that little email icon on my iPhone is haunting me - but I will not check it. Again, often fail at this. I will also probably get yelled at for this rule, because as a graduate student we are slaves! Its true, but that is an entirely different post.
• I will choose reading books or magazines over refreshing my Facebook every 3 seconds. FB has become an addiction. I HAVE to know what my 200 friends have to say, or what they are doing, or now where they are, all the time. The iPhone is an enabler.
• I will not choose playing Zombie Farm over getting it on. Again, not just a funny exaggeration. I'm putting an end to this torrid love affair with the zombies. In fact, I'm going to ban my iPhone (as sexy as it is) from hanging out in the bedroom altogether. Well at least when I am in a bedroom with MrGrizz, otherwise I'm allowed! Hm, he should probably follow this rule too, hint hint.

With all of that said, I love the maps, camera and the immediate and accessible resources the iPhone allows. But from here on out, I'm choosing real life over the one that fits in the palm of my hand.

Yes, I know the iPhone 4 has just come out. I am not going to upgrade for awhile. MrGrizz just put in the order for his 4 last night (mainly for the awesome camera it has), and all I could do was laugh and think of this comic from The Oatmeal:

Me and My Extravagant Birthday Wishes

My birthday is coming up next month. I am still not sure how exactly to feel about this. I mean twenty-five just sounds old! No really. Say it outloud: Twenty Five. Sounds so much more "adult" than twenty-four. It sounds like I should have a real job (graduate school does not count, uncheck), a house (nope), at least an apartment (nope again). I can honestly say I have only had a minor nervous breakdown for one birthday, when I turned 20. It was a huge mind-game, not being a teenager anymore.

In order to keep my mind off of the impending old age, ha, I will put together a birthday present wish list. Now it may be important to add, I am the worst person for which to buy gifts! I do not really need anything. And if I really want something, I get it myself. Oh, and I am INCREDIBLY picky. It is so bad. I mean I am so appreciative if I am gifted anything. I really do not expect it. And then I feel so guilty when I don't love it. It's bad.

Alas, here is my oh-so-extravagant dream present list:

• A trip to some tropical destination: Tahiti? St Barths? Aruba? Hawaii? Any place with clear water, great food, snorkeling, and relaxation. Perhaps, a cruise?

• Macy's Le Vian Gold Lemon Quartz ring. Does this remind anyone else of Dynasty?! So gaudy and over the top. Love. I'm a size 7-7.5 ring in case anyone was wondering.
  

• A fancy digital SLR camera. I love taking pictures. But am not so great at it. Maybe a nice camera would help!
• Speaking of photography. I have a few friends that are great photographers. I am, however, not the most photogenic. This is true. I love the way I look, not in pictures. But then viola, I end up looking horrible in the prints. Not so good. So, a real live photo-shoot would be a great present!! I would love to have some nice artsy (good) photos of me. Ha, vain much?!
• All the past seasons of Dexter on DVD. Hm, nevermind. Take this off my extravagant wish list, as this is not what I would consider that by any means. Plus, I think I am going to buy this for myself, or ask my Mum to get it for me for Hanukkah.
  
• A hiking/safari trip up Kilimanjaro.
  
• A Lori Earley print. I am especially drawn to "Caterpillar Dream" or "The Parting."
  

• Did I mention a vacation?!

Hmmm. That is all I can think of off the top of my head.

the F word

FUTURE.

It’s a scary word. A stressful word. It is a concept that I have been dealing with a lot the past few weeks. In one sense of the word in particular: relationships.

A few things you should know: I am a control freak. And I have horribly anxiety. This is exacerbated when I am not in control. Let us just some it up with: I don’t like not knowing what is going on. Drives me nuts. I think this is also why I have such problems with surprises. Also, two and half of my close friends are engaged. I already told you about VetChick. My friend’s E and T are getting married in November. And the ½ refers to TeachG who will be getting engaged by the end of the year*.

Needless to say, I am surrounded by weddings. And so it comes up, maybe a little too much, in conversation with MrGrizz. He is starting to get annoyed. Very annoyed. He has some friends who are married, some who are engaged, and some who are getting divorced. He doesn’t think too highly of marriage. Mainly (I think) because his mother keeps badgering him about when he is going to “settle down.”

This is really frustrating for me. I know his stances on it. Which can be easily summed up as: Most people rush in to these kinds of things or settle, because getting married and procreating are what we're "supposed" to do. Live your life and share it with someone if you want to, not because you "have" to.

I have always said that I want a marriage not a wedding. So I should be happy with just sharing my life with someone else.

Please excuse the fact that my thoughts are a little all over the place with this post. A) It’s a Monday B) I haven’t fully figured out how I feel about all of this and C) I don’t know, but it seemed like there should be a C.

On one hand, I so do not feel ready for marriage. With anyone. I am selfish and self-centered and like doing my own thing. But in the same sense, am I ever going to feel ready?

Yes, weddings and babies do keep coming up in conversation between MrGrizz and me. That is what my friends are going through, with me by their sides. Yes a few times we have talked about it in regards to ‘us.’ But I don’t feel like I’m pushing or nagging. I am just worried that he does.

I realized about halfway through this I really need to learn to gather my thoughts before I write blog posts!! I will rethink what it is I am actually trying to say, and then repost.

Mental note: Must get better at this blogging thing.

*She and her boyfriend are moving in together in September with the understanding there will be a formal engagement within a few months.

UPDATE (written 2 hrs after above)

Things not to do: Text your SO in the middle of the day saying you want to talk about something but not now.

Within 30 seconds of reading the text, you will get a phone call.

Oh goodness, the things I put MrGrizz through. So we just chatted about marriage, without ever saying the word mind you. He had his nervous uncomfortable laugh. I was mortified and weird on the phone. Basically we agreed to not talk about weddings/marriage/"settling down" in regards to us. It is OK to discuss our friends etc. though.

I knew he had been feeling uncomfortable about this for awhile. Being surrounded by weddings. I could tell it affected him. I don't know if he knew that, until I told him that is how he felt. Ha.

But when someone tells you not to think about elephants, what is the first thing you think about? ELEPHANTS!

Have I told you that he and I have only been together 2.5 months. Oh crap, now you all probably think I am a crazy person. But he was the first one to bring it up about 2 months ago when he asked me if I wanted to elope. I truly believe that when couples start talking about the future too early on, they doom their relationship. There is then too much pressure. It cannot be lived up to. In the same sense, I do think it is important that both people know from where the other is coming. Ugh, so complicated!!

I feel like a walking contradiction. I don't to rush anything, and want to let things naturally progress, but now that I am not supposed to think about it or talk about it, it seems to be the only thing on my mind.

Hurt

This past weekend was one of my best friend's birthdays. Surprisingly enough, it was two of my besties' parties (one Friday night and one Saturday). Saturday was a blast - went to a hibachi restaurant -- YUM!! Dinner reservations were late for me though (we didn't start eating until 8:30), so I was exhausted! But it was well worth it.

I wanted to start out on a positive note before I delve into the events of Friday night.

To set the stage. Good friend JB's actual birthday was Friday and he had his party that same night. Now JB is getting ready to move out of his current apartment (the roommates already have), so the place is pretty bare and very large. Perfect place for a "house party." I knew about half the people there. There was one girl there that I did not know, TanGirl. She was playing the dumb blond card speaking in that attention seeking whiny voice. While I did not particularly care for this person, it was not my place to judge. I simply did my best to ignore her. There were some other girls that were in attendance who were making their distaste for TanGirl quite obvious. It was rude. But honestly, I cannot blame them. Towards the end of the night, it had died down to about 10ish people. Everyone was sitting around the couches in the living room chatting. JB's little sister was in the back room talking on her cell phone and seemed a little upset so I went back to talk to her.

Upon my re-entrance to the living room (again to set the stage the 9-10 people, about half i know, were all sitting in a circle talking in a group), the following words were exchanged:

TanGirl: Why are you talking shit about me?

Me: excuse me?
TanGirl: said that the short fat chick was talking shit about me
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Other Guy's Name: No I meant the other one
TanGirl: Oh
At this point I walked back into the room to gather my thoughts. As I was walking down the hallway I heard TanGirl say, "well she is the chunkiest one here, what was I supposed to think." At this point I grabbed my bag, said goodbye to the few I knew and went home. I needed to remove myself from the situation. Now I am slightly OK with the fact that the people that I knew in the circle did not say anything. It wasn't their place. What I am hurt and horrified about, is that JB (who was hosting the party, one of my best friends, and friend to TanGirl and the one who invited all of us) did not say anything to her or stand up for me.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting him to do or say. But anything would have sufficed. I would never let my friends speak that way. Especially in front of a group of people. I know people with think what they want. Fine, think it. Say it behind my back. I really don't care. I am 25 years old and yes I am slightly overweight. You don't think I know that? But to call me out on that in front of a roomful of people. I think that's cowardly.

I am a little mad at myself for saying nothing and walking away. I felt like I ran away from the situation instead of diffusing it. Since Friday night I have thought of a million things to say to that girl. Really, a million. I am kind of glad that I just walked away though. At the time I did it out of respect for JB and his party. But now I like to think that I did it out of respect for myself.

Sorry this is such a depressing post. Just has been on my mind. And no I haven't heard from JB yet. I am debating whether or not I should write him an email explaining how hurt and disappointed I am. I may wait until I calm down just a bit more.

Space... The final frontier

To go along with my Space theme for the day...

My dad is an aerospace engineer and sent me these videos. They are really neat and if you have a chance check them out:

Hm, this first one I cannot seem to post the actual video. Its from USATODAY and shows the timeline progression of the building of the space station (my favorite of the three, but not the flashiest): Click Me

The "fly around" of the ISS:

Interior Vid of ISS:

Star Wars

Just because I thought this was funny...


[Source: Online PhD]

Sparkly Things, revisted

I have no idea why, but I have been thinking about my previous post a bit -- I promise, less future-y type posts and more relevant ones soon -- and have come to some conclusions. I wanted to document it here so in the future (ugh, there is that F word again) I can point someone to this post and say "surprise me."

This is the ring I want, with a few minor adjustments:

All photos taken by me and are of my chubby fingers :)

Said adjustments being: I want tapered baguettes on the sides instead of the split thing going on in the picture. Like in the previous post (the True Blood ring). And I'm not sure about the blue topaz. I want a harder stone that can keep up with me wearing it every day. And lighter. Either diamond (which would cost a million dollars - I'd much rather spend that kind of money on a house), white sapphire, morganite, something light and transparent, a little bit of color is o with me.

So you may think, "you have a picture of you wearing the ring, huh??" My mum finished her doctorate in education two years ago (walked at the 2009 commencement ceremony). As a present I got her the ring. Slightly selfishly, Ill admit. I saw the ring. Fell in love. Decided I needed to have it. But couldn't justify spending that amount of money on myself. I got it for her graduation present and borrow it whenever I like! Best of all worlds. I love that ring SOOOOO much. Really. I do. It's sad. The end.

PS Honestly, if I got that exact ring, Id be happy too. Just saying :)

Oh in case you are wondering. I got the blue topaz cushion/oval with the east/west setting at Macy's in April of 2009. They were having some sort of sale, and if I remember correctly, it was under $300 (originally I think it was ~$500).

Sparkly Things

This is a few weeks late. Oops. But...

VetChick got engaged!!! VetChick got engaged. Oh yes, VetChick got engaged! WooHoo!!!

Can you tell I am a bit excited. VetChick and soon to be MrVetChick have been together for 6 years. Yes, 6 years. She was completely shocked. As was I. Yes, I was there. Along with our closest friends. It was so them. And so special. And yes, I cried. Well the actual proposal wasn't in front of everyone; MrVetChick pulled her aside. I am so unbelievably happen for them.

It kind of got me thinking. About a few things. Well OK who am I kidding. It got me thinking about rings. I know, I know, an engagement should be about the marriage. NOT a wedding, and definitely NOT a piece of jewelry. I often joke that when the time comes I would like an engagement house.

However unfortunate, I don't think our society takes an engagement seriously unless there is a ring on the woman's finger. I have some friends who are in fact engaged and they have decided to either forgo the ring all together. Or want to wait until its financially feasible. In both cases, when the actual wedding planning started both family, friends and vendors alike did not take the couple seriously. This could turn into an entire post about how I think some people are more interested in a party (IE the wedding) than the marriage.

But back to the topic at hand. And yes, call me a hypocrite - because despite my feelings presented above and how I HATE that as soon as someone announces they are engaged the next question is always ' can I see the ring' - but I want to talk sparkly things. Or what normal people call engagement rings.

I was never the one to think about what my wedding or engagement would be like. And definitely not an engagement ring. I am so picky when it comes to jewelry as it is. I would be really scared to have my significant other pick out such an important piece. Something that I would wear forever and pass down to my children.

I also have awkwardly shaped hands. Little fat stumpy fingers. Some rings look just plain bizarre on my hand. What if there is a style ring I like, and explain it to a friend to help this supposed SO that is going to propose, but then it looks awful on my hand?! Am I supposed to try some on myself and then pass the word along? This whole ring debacle confuses me to no end.

There are some that I like to look at though!

The engagement ring that Vampire Bill gives Sookie in True Blood:

Source

I think there is something so magical about antique-looking rings. Does anyone have a non-diamond ring? Ive always liked the idea of a white sapphire. Maybe this is because I want a bigger stone (due to the fat fingers), and I wouldn't want to spend so much money on a diamond when it could go towards a down payment on a house.

Source

Who am I kidding: I am more than a little "out of the box." So why not have that reflected in the ring. East/West Oval setting anyone?

Source

... And I'm spent.

Weekend Brain Dump

Oh, where to begin...

Happy July 4th
(a few days late)

So, it was an interesting weekend to say the least. To start, I totally cracked. If you read my previous post about the birthday present that I got for MrGrizz - 4 months early - you will know that I get so freaking excited about presents that I cannot keep a secret. And I am a horrible liar, even just with lying by omission. On Monday, after the weekend that I put MrGrizz through (more to come on that in a second), I had JT bring over his present when they stopped by for pizza/movie afternoon.

We sent MrGrizz and T out to grab the pizza, so J and I could grab the guitar out of the car. I had no idea what to do with it. So I not so stealthily put it upstairs in the bedroom, on the bed. Fast forward to after we finished our scrumptious cheesy pizza, we were about to start "Hot Tub Time Machine" when I told MrGrizz that I needed to see him upstairs for a second. JT were trying to contain their giggles. As MrGrizz was coming up the stairs and saw that the bedroom door was shut, he had this look on his face and I just knew, he knew! So I opened the door, Ta-Da! He seemed pleased. Played with the guitar for a bit. Gave me a huge hug. Asked if I really couldn't have waited more than a week to give it to him. Then I asked... How did he know?!?

Apparently, J and I were not so stealth when I pulled her aside the night that he saw the pretty shiny new toy. And by an odd twist of fate, he actually drove past the music store (it happens once in a blue moon that he has to go out that way, unless visiting JT) and saw that is was in fact not there. I have to admit though, I was a little disappointed by his reaction. I mean I don't know what I was expecting. But I was a bit let down. I am kind of worried, he doesn't actually like the gift. The rest of the day yesterday I kept asking him if he was pleased. He said he was. I don't know, maybe i expected jumping jacks or screams of excitement. I blame J for this. When I originally told her about the idea and asked her opinion, she said that MrGrizz would FLIP OUT and probably propose after he saw how awesome I am. J, not a good thing to say. Ha.

Ok. Rewind. To the part of the weekend I am a bit embarrassed to explain...

I have no idea what was wrong with me. Last week I was having a really hard time sleeping. Usually NEVER a problem for me. When I don't sleep, I turn into a crank monster. Needless to say, I was not the happiest of camper's last week to begin with. Then midweek we got some very exciting news! PresD got into Havard Law School!!! Yay!!! On Friday, as I was driving to MrGrizz's house I was talking to PresD (on my hands free blue tooth) and suddenly started crying. I mean full on ugly cry. I was feeling really anxious about him moving to Boston; he is currently, and has been since he moved out of the house in Philadelphia. So while I didn't see him everyday, I always had the option. This pretty much set the stage for the rest of the weekend. It was a sobfest. At the drop of a hat, for no reason at all, I would start crying. Before you ask, yes it was "that time of the month." But I am normally a trooper and never get like this. I think it was a combination of lack of sleep, a stressful time at work, my hormones being completely out of whack, and just my generally propensity for craziness.

A big THANK YOU goes out to MrGrizz for putting up with my puffy eyed face for the weekend.

Supreme Court

I would like to preface this with the fact that I am an engineer NOT a lawyer or politician...

I leave the politicizing (yes, I make up words; and I like it) to my younger brother, PresD. I truly think my parents hit the jackpot when it comes to what interest's their children: PresD is currently in law school and the little sister, DrA, is eventually going to be a neurosurgeon (I say eventually because she is still in undergrad). But I digress.

... I have refrained from talking to PresD about the nomination of Supreme Court Judge Elena Kagan until I can determine my views first. My brother is very knowledgeable and has very distinct stances on legal issues. We do agree most of the time, but I find that after I have a conversation with him, I just take his views and arguments as my own becuase a) he makes it sound so good and b) he is much smarter than I am in regards to this and c) I'm sometimes lazy and dont want to research anything on my own. This post has nothing to do with my views, or hers, or anyone else's. It does have to do with a hilarious clip I saw on the news this morning.

She is being asked about the Christmas Day bomber, specifically where she was on that day. Orange juice came out of my nose I was laughing so hard when I heard her response, I kid you not. Hysterical.

Yes, in case you have not already figured out, I am indeed Jewish. And got the biggest kick of this response. I think at some point I will write a whole post about Judiasm and what it means to me and how I try and live everyday a little bit Jewish.

Also does anyone else thinks she looks a little like Rachel Dratch from SNL? I asked a coworker and he thinks she looks more like John Lovitz or Nathan Lane.

Asking for Help...

... and tooting my own horn*.

I have been trying to decide how much and/or how little to share on this. But for this post to make any sense at all, I need to give a bit of background. I am indeed in a relationship with someone; we shall dub him MrGrizz. MrGrizz’s birthday isn’t until the Fall, but I did a bad, bad, awesome, thing.

Let me set the stage…

MrGrizz, myself and couple friend TJ all went out to dinner last weekend. Great new restaurant in Pottstown (a long drive from Philly, but worth it), if you want the name of it, let me know. After parking the car, on the short walk to the restaurant we passed a music store.

PAUSE

Oh goodness, I forgot you need even more background for this story to make any sense at all. MrGrizz is a musician. In every sense of the word. He has a band, is in a few others, and manages even more. All along with his full time day job.

RESUME

Where was I? Oh yes, we were walking by a music store. There was a guitar (neat looking I will admit) in the window and MrGrizz stopped dead in his tracks and stared. It was more oogled than stared. Like how I imagine a prepubescent boy looks at his first Playboy. JT scurries over to the restaurant; it was a late dinner and we were all hungry. I played the good lady friend and waited until MrGrizz had stood in front of the closed store window for a long enough time that I didn’t feel badly about pulling him away. On the way out of the restaurant, the same exact thing happened.

After leaving, we went back to JT’s apartment for awhile and MrGrizz excused himself. I asked JT if they could do me a HUGE favor. Would they mind going to the store the next day and picking up the guitar that MrGrizz was obsessing over for me? You see, I live in Philadelphia and we were a good 45 mins to an hour away. Well they are the best people in the entire world, because I just got a call from J of JT and she picked it up for me!!!!! It was a great price, at this consignment music place, so I thought ‘why not?’

So now there are a few issues with this:

• MrGrizz’s birthday (and this will be a bday present) is not until the fall. I am AWFUL at surprises; I get so excited that I can’t keep them secret. It has been 48 hours and I’m already bursting at the seams.
• I need to get a case for the guitar. Here is where the help comes in: I have no idea what kind it is! At the store when J picked it up, apparently it would not fit into any of the cases that they had. I’m thinking it I figure out what kind of guitar it is, then I can find a case for that specific model online.
• I also need to find a way to get it from JT’s apartment to my house.
  

Some pictures of the super secret surprise birthday present:

I know that it is an Epiphone hollow body. And that’s about it. If anyone knows anything about guitars please let me know! I’ve been searching online, and am not sure if I have found the correct model. Once I get it in my hands I could just bring it to a music store. But I don’t want to transport it in my car without a case to protect it.

Moral of the story: I am the best lady friend ever. Bought a birthday present 4 mths early. And am awful at surprises.

* I tried google-ing from where this term came. No such luck. I will retry during lunch.

Need to Fully Grasp this Blogging Thing

I am so bad at remembering to update this. Actually I remember that I should do it all the time, I think I am just lazy. Let me define the term 'lazy' in this sense. I keep a little notepad journal type thing with me in my purse at all times. To write myself notes... A thought that I want to remember... Phone number's... Dr's appts... Anything and everything. My original plan with this blog was to take things directly from my journal and rework it on here. Well that is so not happening. I am too lazy to basically retype what I already have written. So, new plan: Write directly on here! Let's hope this way goes more smoothly...

To elope or not to elope...

Two friends of mine got married on Monday (5-24) in Washington DC! I had been friends with AA since I first started grad school and remember when she met her now wife S. After a few years of dating and cohabitation they decided to head down to DC to make it official - since it is still not legal in PA (that is a whole different post and don't even get me started). They had a wonderful ceremony at the court house. Now to the question: would you consider a court house wedding an elopement?

AA and S had been planning for months and their families were present. I would consider it a Courthouse wedding. But then what counts as an elopement? Not telling anyone? Deciding last minute? Having only witnesses present?

On my old blog I found this post (originally written Feb 2009):

Friends of mine are getting married. A lot of them. While I enjoy a pretty dress and amazing party just like anyone, the stress that I see them all going through is insane. When my future husband turns up, he will: share my sense of humor, get my motor going, enjoy being my travel companion, love me unconditionally, etc, etc... When marriage is proposed, I'll also propose something else: eloping.

Here's one plan, but it's just a start. If he has another in mind, I'm completely open.

1. Find a place we both want to go for a vacation. A relaxing vacation, mind you, not an adventure like Peru or Baluchistan. Hawaii springs to mind, or the mountains in Colorado. Somewhere romantic.
2. Ask another couple along. Or a few best friends. We'll need witnesses and someone to take the photos (possibly a photographer friend), and to share the secret. These folks will need to be low maintenance, get-along types. After all, we won't be spending much time with them. Dinner and the odd afternoon perhaps.
3. Arrange a civil ceremony a day or so in advance of the elopement, if leaving home. I'm not sure just how legal a wedding in (St Lucia) is for non (St Lucians).
4. Make all travel at decent times of the day. No hurry. How many couples leave their wedding reception at midnight or later, rush to a hotel, and are up again at 5:00 am for a flight somewhere? No sir. If necessary, we'll stay in a hotel here for a couple of nights before leaving.
5. Announce the event has taken place by inviting people to a party when we return. Something along the lines of "Come to a party at _______ and Wishful Thinker's place, we're celebrating." When everyone has gathered, announce that we're married so we can get stuck into the champagne.
6. No gifts. Wedding Registries irk me. How presumptuous to list what we want you to buy us? Sheesh, I dislike that. If you don't know us well enough to buy something thoughtful, then forget about it. Eloping circumvents all that. Hm, ok maybe some gifts.
7. Minimum angst. My experience of weddings is that frayed tempers are a part of the deal. If this is to be the best day of our lives, I don't want any part of the marital-industrial complex. Wedding planners. Cripes.
8. While I love Jewish weddings and I do want to incorporate some of the traditions into my own, I don't think I want to get married in a synagogue. This would cause a fight of epic proportions with my dear mother. I mean WWIII epic. There is also a real possibility that the man I end up with will not be Jewish - cue my Mum crying now.
   

OK so looking back on this list now that I'm a bit older and wiser (HA!), I have some issues with it: My parents would KILL me. Literally murder me; I want a pretty white dress and to be (half) the center of attention; I have been forced to numerous showers/bachelorette parties/weddings, I want retribution! (only half kidding with this one); I really want my grandmother to be there - she is one of my best friends, and it would break her heart.

But I love the idea of spur of the moment realizing that you two are meant to spend the rest of your lives together, and wanting that moment to start right now without the drama and pressures of planning a huge affair. There is something so romantic and so personal about just being you and your partner. Ill also be the first one to admit that it would make a great story! And I love great stories.

Story time: My parents met on a blind date. On a Friday. And decided my the end of the weekend that they were going to get married. And then did. Now almost 30 yrs and 3 kids later they are still together, and happy. Well at least that's the story Ive been told since I was a child. After a few years ago doing some digging and asking my Aunts and Uncles I found out the real story. They were in fact a blind date, the weekend of Halloween. They announced their engagement at Thanksgiving to both families, and then were married the next September.

So I don't know if there is really a point to this post. But it was on my mind, so I thought Id share.

Addendum: I was just gchatting with one of my best girlfriend's, Vet Chick. We seem to have very similar thoughts on the matter. A lot of people are so obsessed with the "wedding" that they forget the most important factor is the marriage. So if this whole me as a wife thing ever comes to fruition, I want a small ceremony on top of some mountain or on a farm (with a fantastic photographer) then a celebration after the fact with just close close friends and family.

I('m in) love (with) you

Just a quick question: What is the difference, if any, between:

"I love you"

and

"I'm in love with you"

Discuss. Is one better than the other? I mean I would tell my best friends that I love them, but not that I am in love with them. So then is it considered a good thing for a significant other (SO) to tell you that they are in fact "in love with you" as opposed to them loving you the first time the word love is used?

Methods of Our Madness

I had gotten out of a relationship in Oct/Nov 2008 and was attempting to "date" again. It should be noted, I am a horrific dater. I never really had to do it before - I always just met someone and it "clicked." So I went through a month or two of trying to actually meet new people and go out on first (and usually only first) dates. This did not last that long. I was bad at it and in no way was it fun. But this entry came to me about in the middle of this dating exposition.

The following was originally posted in December 2008:

In the dating marketplace (and dating is basically a mercantile enterprise), we are searching for a commodity called a Relationship and we want just the right model to match our ideal of Mr. Right. We want someone with all the right attributes, whatever they may be - looks, brains, talent, income, prestige, style, religious beliefs… the list of requirements goes on and on. So we peruse, compare, evaluate, and consider, until we find the relationship commodity that best fits our requirements. Then we attempt to acquire it.

The Main Event: Dating

When we've made a choice (and been chosen) through whatever matchmaking methodology we've employed, we are ready to venture out on the extended test drive called Dating. This is when we take a long look at the merchandise, evaluate the handling, the responsiveness to our needs, the reliability, and, of course, the ease of maintenance. Is this model the right one for my active lifestyle? Will it enhance my image in the eyes of others? Is it suitable for everyday use or just weekend drives in the country? All these concerns and more are vetted during the Dating process.

Sometimes the Dating process ends very quickly. Our evaluative radar is on high alert. Is there “chemistry?” Are there any obvious flaws or faults, deal breakers or intolerable annoyances? Signs of ideological or religious incompatibility? Our antennae quiver alertly, our fingers hover over the relationship ejection button.
Many people have a hair-trigger inclination to dismiss a date out of hand with nothing more than a vague hunch or intuition as the basis for judgment. After all, who wants to get involved in the messy activity of building a relationship when you don’t like some... je ne sais qua?

If neither of you disqualify the other on the first encounter or two, you embark on the extended process of formal Dating. You are so damn lucky.
When two parties come together for the purpose of Dating, each side approaches with an expectation of the romantic happiness to which they feel they are entitled. Thus, a modern-day romantic relationship is essentially an exercise in entitlement: you must satisfy my needs or I will shop around for someone who will. “I want my needs met” is the war cry of relationship shoppers everywhere.

A Radical Redefinition of Relationship

The relationship-as-commodity model, based on the same logic on which we conduct our economic lives, is a failure in the world of love and romance. Even when both parties agree that the other adequately satisfies their needs, the relationship is nothing more than a dehumanizing transaction, an alienated arrangement that can be revoked, terminated, and abandoned at the whim of either party. The give-to-get equation, with it’s cold calculus and focus on self-gratification, is antithetical to a humane relationship, let alone one that produces romantic bliss.

The only way out of the state in which we find ourselves relationally speaking is to radically redefine what it means to engage in the activity of relationship. A relationship is not a transaction in which emotional goods are exchanged, as the relationship attorneys would have us believe. Rather, it is something built by the parties involved, an object of love that gets created, not exchanged.
I am not giving to satisfy your needs, and you are not giving to satisfy mine, but we are both giving to the relationship, which transcends yet includes both of us. Rather than giving in order to get, and obsessing over our needs, we both give in order to give, and marvel at the wonderful object of our creation, our Relationship.

Perhaps, in the forgotten words of John Lennon, I am a dreamer, but I hope I’m not the only one. I have no self-help plan, no glib Dr. Phil advice on how to achieve sure-fire relationship success. I am not even saying it would be easy. Giving for the sake of giving, for the sake of creating something with another person rather than getting something for oneself, is not an effort that lends itself to simple, paint-by-number steps. It requires a qualitatively different kind of activity, the kind of activity a mother engages in with her child, an artist with his work, a priest with his flock. There is almost a spiritual quality to it.

Can we imagine a way of dating that isn't organized like a serial job interview? Where objectification and evaluation are not the main activities? Where we could do other things, like create a relationship not based on idealized expectations but on the reality of who two people actually are? Perhaps, like imagining a world without divisive politics or religion, it seems hopelessly idealistic and naive.

If we could imagine it, we might also imagine having more than a single, eggs-one-basket relationship that must bear up under the stress and struggle of two people trying to get all their emotional needs met. Perhaps we wouldn't have to idealize and, some say, fetishize the couple. One can only imagine what that might free us to create with each other.

But a new way of relating is not easily conceived of or acted upon in this age of self-gratification. With the next relationship commodity just around the corner, why bother trying? I just want to get my needs met.

A Wishful Thinker's Intentions...

Where to begin?
I decided to start a blog. Why? Honestly, no idea. As I was commuting into work this morning on the train it suddenly came to me: All those random thoughts/ideas/nonsense that come to me for no reason, well I should make some sort of outlet to share. I guess its a bit narcissistic to think anyone would want to read anything that is going on in my brain - but alas, I think (ok I'm hoping) it will make me a little less neurotic.

Some basics.
I am going to try to keep this as anonymous as possible. So be prepared for my odd naming of people! For example, my three best friends shall be named: VetChick, TeachG and TeachS. Better idea, Ill just make it up as I go along.

Some basics about me.
I am a full time graduate student. And have been for a little too long. Also part of the reason I decided to start this blog - I have too much "sit in front of a computer bored" time on my hands. I currently live with my parents (laugh all you want, but with a grad student stipend, it works out quite well!) and commute to work/school on a daily basis.

Some basics about the blog.
This is actually my second attempt at blogging. I started one a little over a year ago. Then forgot about it. I think I will re-post some of the (well at least in my opinion) poignant entries from there over the next few days as a good way to ease into this new blog.

Let the blogging begin...